Here I am, over two months since I’ve last written. The pen feels like its trying to fly off the page. It’s going faster - no my brain is going faster than my hand can write. So much to unpack. So much change.
Here I am with only three days left in 2023. This year has broken me in some ways. And it also put me back together.
Read MoreThe future frolics about just out of reach. And I wonder about it.
I wonder if the money will start to flow. Will I feel content? Will I start something new? Will I Look back with regret?
And in this future, who am I? If my 20 year old self could see me now, what would she think? Would she be proud? Would she recognize herself?
Some days I wonder where and how all this happened. How I came to be me. Am I OK with this version of me? This current version?
Read MoreWhere am I supposed to find it?
The roadmap to life?
Is it hidden in some blog post or Instagram story?
Is it in a book long forgotten on my shelf?
Is it in the mirror looking back at me?
It’s hard to be the louder voice that drowns out society’s beauty standards. To accept yourself exactly as you are. But it’s something to strive for.
My eyes are drawn to my imperfections. Yet they aren’t with other people. Why can we see the best in others but not ourselves?
Read MoreUntil then you are trying oh so hard to hold tight to each day. To live IN this day. In the moment at hand. And to fully embrace it all. Each time when you are awoken in the middle of the night by a little hand on your shoulder, scared eyes looking back and a small voice asking “can I get in your bed mommy”, you wonder if it’ll be the last time.
Read MoreThis anxiety hasn’t just been debilitating, it has been crushing. I haven’t felt like myself for years now. Every time I would go out in a social setting I’d wonder if panic was going to emerge. Every time I took a sip of alcohol, a thought would flutter into my mind wondering if this was a bad idea. Every trip I booked and went on has been overshadowed by these feelings of fear and panic. It is liberating to finally feel free.
Read MoreOutside voices don’t have to understand you. No one does. What matters is that you are following your heart and finding your passion and joy.
Read More“Today, I remember that I am worthy of miracles. They are in the wings right now.” Tama Kieves,
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